Top 10 Reasons to Attend Our Church

I was surfing around checking out the websites of some of our area churches, and I ran across one particular church in our community. I could not believe my eyes. On their website, they list the top 10 reasons to attend their church. Here they are, directly copied from their website...

10. You can hang with real people, like yourself.
(Get connected with social activities and class electives, when you're ready)

9. You'll feel welcomed but not harassed.
(no one will contact you, unless you want to be)

8. We have great children and youth programs.
(your kids will love the variety of activities offered)

7. Your infant will feel safe and secure.
(and so will you; we have a great nursery staff)

6. You won't be preached "at" or bored to tears.
(Commandment #11 - Thou shalt not bore people with the gospel)

5. We won't put you on the spot.
(feel free to blend into the crowd)

4. We have cool music.
(no aunt Betsy singing her favorite hymn, again)

3. We won't beg for money.
(and we don't pass an offering plate)

2. We offer great munchies.
(the best desserts and refreshments on Sunday; a hearty snack that rivals any dinner on Saturday)

1. Dress is casual and comfortable.
(no fashion police show up here)

Now, here are the top 10 reasons to attend Messiah Lutheran Church...

1. Jesus

2. Forgiveness of sins

3. Jesus

4. Forgiveness of sins

5. Jesus

6. Forgiveness of sins

7. Jesus

8. Forgiveness of sins

9. Jesus

10. Jesus