Daughter (5): "Daddy, I love Jesus so much, I think I could marry him!"
Me (45): "I'm very glad you love Jesus, honey, but we don't marry him ... sort of like you love your mommy and daddy, but you don't marry us."
Daughter: "Well, Jesus could be standing right there right now."
Me: "That's true. Jesus is everywhere."
Daughter: "You mean Jesus could also be sitting over there on the couch watching America's Funniest Videos?"