Out of the Mouths of Babes #28

Giving a blessing to a preschooler at the altar during Holy Communion today...she looks up at me, smiles, and declares, ”I love you!” Dad, grandparents, aunt, and sisters at the rail couldn't keep a straight face. Me, neither. And I replied, ”I love you, too!”

Out of the Mouths of Babes #27

Quotable moment at church today. During Sunday School, my daughter overheard my adult Bible class laughing at something. She said to her teacher, "They must be drinking beer." Considering the day in the church year, the teacher should have responded with Acts 2:15.

Celebrating Opening Day at the office

Out of the Mouths of Babes #26

At preschool chapel today, I was explaining to the children that "Pastor" is my "job" and "Onken" is my last name.  I then asked them, "Do any of you know my first name?"  One little girl yelled out, "GOD!"

As much as the serpent tempted me not to correct her, I did end up telling her the truth.

Wake me up when you get to the good stuff.

Out of the Mouths of Babes #25

Daughter (6) was sitting in the windowsill with the window open, watching me mow the lawn. She began to sneeze and sniffle, showing evidence of grass allergy (of which we were already aware).

Wife says, "Well, honey, if you are allergic to grass, you probably won't be able to mow the lawn when you get older and have a house of your own."

Daughter replies, "That's okay. I'll just buy a husband."

Out of the Mouths of Babes #24

During preschool chapel at church this morning, one student said to me, "Pastor, did you know everyone likes you?"

That was very sweet.  But I'm sure I've made a few enemies along the way.

With all due respect to you Bach purists out there...

...enjoy this picture of "Chew-Bach-A."

Then again, maybe this is more disturbing to Star Wars purists.

Out of the Mouths of Babes #23

At dinner tonight, son (4) asks, "Daddy, can Jesus eat Cheetos?"

Hearing Complaints from "Some People"

Out of the Mouths of Babes #22

Daughter (5): "Daddy, I love Jesus so much, I think I could marry him!"

Me (45): "I'm very glad you love Jesus, honey, but we don't marry him ... sort of like you love your mommy and daddy, but you don't marry us."

Daughter: "Well, Jesus could be standing right there right now."

Me: "That's true.  Jesus is everywhere."

Daughter: "You mean Jesus could also be sitting over there on the couch watching America's Funniest Videos?"

Just a quick question...

The Staff Meeting

Cell phones in church: one congregation's solution

If we can't afford handbells, there's always this...

As performed by the the St. Luke's Bottle Band, St. Luke's Lutheran Church, Park Ridge, Illinois.

Favorite Onken Quotes*

At first, I wasn't going to blog this here.  I wrote the post below in a note on my Facebook page yesterday.  But these are just too amusing not to pass along.

*These are all about Onken Yogurt, a brand marketed in the UK. (Gleaned from an Onken-obsessed blogger at http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/lblackwell/tag/onken/) As you will see, I like to think they're about me. If you are an Onken, then feel free to consider them about you, if you wish. Pass them along to all your Onken relatives. I realize this is a rather narcissistic exercise, but I'll blame it on Charles Varsogea for posting a picture of a container of Onken yogurt on my wall.

"That’s right, a new limited edition Onken. And so I grabbed it. Om nom nom."

"A full 50g less of Onken."

"...this Onken has lots of little bits of orangey goodness."

"Have an Onken on the house..."

"...enhanced by the awesome taste of Onken."

"I’d also far rather eat peach Onken than a peach."

"I am suffering from not having enough Onken."

"Even as good as Onken is, only being able to have one flavour makes it a bit… samey."

"It’s about things like Onken, and llamas, and political groups with memory problems, and satirical guides to sports."

"Unfortunately, it’s not a glowing palace full of rivers of Onken, but we can’t have anything in life."

A Social Network Christmas

HT: Paul McCain

Out of the Mouths of Babes #21

5 year old daughter tonight demonstrated her refined theology of worship with this comment: "Church is not supposed to be hippy and cool. Some people just ruin it up like a silly old playground."

A New Euphemism

You've probably heard these before...

"The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor."

"One sandwich short of a picnic."

"One taco short of a combination plate."

While doing her altar guild duties today, my wife came up with a new one...

"Three cups short of a full communion tray."

Out of the Mouths of Babes #20

4yo son's bedtime prayer tonight: "Dear Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross, and thank you for tomatoes. Amen."